Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How Not to Wait

It's dark outside. Not night time dark. Not early morning dark. Not even the darkness of an eclipse. It's the darkness of smog, no sun for days. It's a darkness that creeps into the house. The kind of darkness that makes you turn on all the lights in the house in an effort to fight it. I find myself waiting for real Spring.

It feels, sometimes, that I'm always waiting. Waiting to grow up and go to college. Waiting to get married. Waiting to start having kids. Waiting to give birth (yeah, I did that a lot). Waiting for Tim's school to be done. Waiting to move overseas and then waiting to move back to the States. There's the waiting for babies to sleep through the night. Waiting for them to be self-sufficient. Waiting for them to finish going potty (I spend A LOT of time doing this!). Waiting for them to do their schoolwork. It always seems that I'm waiting for what's next.

I find it hard to live in the moment. I find it hard to simply wait on God. I have a hard time being still and waiting to hear what God wants to say.
So, here in the darkness of midday, I will try to "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..." (Psalm 37:7)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very nice. It must be genetic, because I struggle with this too. Nicely expressed. Love, Mom

Ashley said...

Rachel..... waiting is the story of my life!!! But it's made my faith so much stronger! Thanks for sharing.

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