Xinku: a language lesson

Well, ok, so my Chinese isn't that great. And really, I'm sure that no one wants a Chinese lesson, but this is really less about the language and more about the mindset.

"Xinku" (pronounced "Shin-coo) is something you say when you ask someone to help you do something and then it ends up being a lot of trouble (Sorry, I "xinku" you). The meaning is causing a lot of trouble or work. It literally translates "heart bitterness." It is not a positive word at all.

Since we have been back, most people who know that I have three kids tell me how "xinku"ed I am. In the States, we might say "Wow, you must really be busy!" But it is not meant to say that the parents are not blessed. Here, that is not true. It is almost like people are saying that we are cursed...I know it is not quite that strong, but it feels that way. I would have to admit that, yes, right now in my life, it's a lot of work. Sometimes, the kids go through phases where they cause constant trouble. I have days when I wait all day long to put them to bed at night...but it's funny because it seems that those are the days that about 15 minutes after they have gone to sleep I miss them. I have to resist the temptation to get them up and hug them and say, "let's just play a bit."

So in a country, where families only have one child, spend very little time with their children, and never discipline them, I feel I am the least "xinku" of them all. I pray that I will never feel that my children are "xinku" for me. I pray that I will always remember that they are my "xingfu" (blessing!).

So if you have kids, go love on them and tell them that you are blessed to have them and not troubled to have them. Each child is a gift!